Healing Your Spiritual Wounds is a journey to help people recognize that they may have been spiritually wounded by certain teachers and/or teachings, and then to help them work towards healing. It is not a program targeting specific individuals who were abusive, neither is it aiming to universally demean or undermine any Faith Traditions or spiritual teachings.
I’m very aware that no single message will reach all people in the same way and with the same impact. We all receive and process information differently, so it is clear to me that certain teachings of the different faith traditions touch people deeply, making total sense for them, and bringing added meaning to their lives. At the same time, that same message, delivered in the same way, may not make sense to another individual or it may undermine their self-esteem and sense of personal agency. They may, out of loyalty, obedience, or a desire to belong try to live out these teachings even though those teachings don’t make sense to them, which leads to internal confusion, self-doubt, anxiety, and self-judgment…wounding.
We all have a powerful need to belong, to be accepted, and to fit in. This explains why we often carry on believing and living out the faith tradition we inherited as children, even when it is wounding us in some way. This need to belong can lead us to subjugate ourselves and live a life of “shoulds” and “oughts” without finding our own agency, sovereignty, and free will. This often leads us to subvert, override, and suppress our true natures.
My wounds originated in teachings from the Christian church. I was raised in a minister’s family and became a Minister myself in my early 30s. It took me quite a long time to identify and then unwind from the wounding I received, which led me on a powerful journey of healing. This doesn’t mean I no longer get triggered, I do! But I am mindful and compassionate with myself so I don’t slip back into old behaviors of feeling undeserving, being indecisive, and keeping myself small.
I recognize that others have received the exact same teachings as me and do not feel wounded at all. As stated above, we all have distinctive families and home environments and we all have unique personalities, taking in information in different ways. Some of us are like sponges, absorbing what we are given without question. Some of us question everything and may not take in the “negative” teachings in the same way as another person who is potentially devastated by the unquestioned idea or teaching.
Some of the teachings that may cause spiritual wounding:
- Original Sin (I am bad. I was born that way. I, on my own, can do nothing about that.)
- My body and will are weak (to want anything for myself is selfish or self-centered, body shame, I learn not to trust my instincts)
- Submit all of who you are to God or Jesus (low self-worth/self-esteem, I can’t make good decisions for myself, I can do no good, all the answers are outside of myself)
- All the bad that happens to me is my doing (low self-worth/self-esteem, I can’t make good decisions for myself, I can do no good)
- I must conform to the teachings in the way they are taught to me (no room for personal decision making, interpretation, or challenge)
- I must wait on the Lord (no personal decision making resulting in a passive approach to life, disempowerment to be pro-active or self-assertive)
- JOY – Jesus, Others, You (I must think of Jesus and Others before myself, leading to low self-worth and self-esteem, the inability to create healthy boundaries, poor self-care)
- Sex is bad (my natural urges are bad and I’m bad for having them)
- “It was part of God’s plan…” (forced to forgive and forget, no room to grieve or process the pain, no learning – just get over it and move on)
- I cannot access spirit on my own (low self-esteem/self-worth)
We may have learned these concepts at different ages. My learning started when I was born. It wasn’t so much drummed into me, it was just all around me as a Minister’s son. Some of you may have been taught these teachings as children, as teenagers, or as college students and young adults. And the spiritual wounds will vary.
For me, although I appeared to be a well-rounded, confident, and highly capable boy and young man, I felt unsure of myself and incapable of making good decisions for myself. I kept myself small out of a sense of false humility. The simplest decisions became difficult. The more important decisions lacked self-reflection and were made in light of what I thought God, my parents, the Church might think was right. I was unable to conjure up a feeling of my own, a desire for myself, a choice that was strictly for me and not for someone else’s sake or to please them.
Through my own healing process, I have come to feel my own feelings, think my own thoughts and make my own sovereign decisions. I own my free will and own my deep spiritual nature. I listen to my own desires so I can do things to please myself and truly serve others from my own heart and choice. And most importantly, I am now able to be self-loving so I can fulfill my purpose, which is to help others heal from their wounds, love themselves and find their purpose in life.
This is why I have designed the Healing Your Spiritual Wounds journey. If you relate to my experiences and feel ready to heal, join me on this journey. Let’s step into being the fully functioning, happy human beings we were created to be. I’ll guide you in the steps needed to move through the wounding you received so you can let go and move forward in your life. I want you to become the strong, healthy, and confident individual you were born to be!
CLICK HERE to read more about the program, to view an outline of the 10 sessions, and to register.